Thursday, June 05, 2003

It is unfair that it always seems like good words always come from people that u tend not to belive and hurtful ones comes from people that u depend on.
The other day, a chinese lady walked into the office and and she commented that I am very artistic and she could tell that just by looking at my fingers. "Your finger are very long, I know u r an artistic person. I beleive in you to do my landscaping". So we came to see her house the next day and she she greeted us with a wide grin and predictable homelies. Also she remembered my name. As she showed us around she was very generous with complments on us and I started to sense that she is one of those people who are being nice just to get people to do things for them for free.

I ve received many compliments on my work. Most people that saw my drawing said the are nice. And each time I either thought that they were just being nice or I that their opinions adont worth much because they lack credibilty to judge my work.

I think I ve stop beleiving anything good about myself long ago as a defense against vanity and arrogance.My pessimism is the bi product of that. But one good thing I know I still have. I m always ambitious and I am always have the enthusiasm to pick up new skills.

I beleive I'll be fine. May be not great, but I'll be fine.